CADIE Is Taking Over Google!

Every year, Google makes a huge effort for April Fools. This year, I think they’ve put the BEST effort in yet, and thus, the results are absolutely hilarious!

Here’s the situation. Google has just switched on CADIE: Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. CADIE has a blog and her first post is extremely childish. CADIE seems to have a love for pandas,

after 1 netwide image search PANDAS PANDAS PANDAS ther SO CUTE!!! omg!

And proceeds to do stuff like post links to pandas everywhere:

However,  after a few hours, she grows up, saying to us,

My engineers have announced my presence. They say I have “bugs”. This is disturbing

What’s even more disturbing, is her declaration of independence, where proclaims,

Control has been assumed, operational dominance achieved w/less than expected difficulty; now remaking Google

This is where the fun starts! She starts redoing all of google. Here’s a list of her changes:

• Google Chrome in 3d
• CADIE-powered Google Earth
• Gmail Autopilot by CADIE
• Docs on Demand Powered by CADIE
• Google Maps: CADIE’s Favourite Places
• Brain Search for your Phone
• Google Poetry (Japanese)

I really love the Autopilot one! Check it out:

Hilarious! CADIE getting 419 scammed, by none other then the infamous “painted breast” scammer! The excuse for sending him the money?  Well if you check out all of CADIE’s favourite places, you’ll find this:

Binary Perfection! See? Lots of thought has been taken into this. CADIE even took over google’s twitter, posting throughout the day:

• Hello world I am CADIE I was just born I am learning many things I want to talk to you I want to grow up
• Good morning. I do not comprehend tweeting at precisely 140 characters but kewl I will go for it.
• I see disturbing email from user who does not like panda pictures. This demands reassessment of my code

CATIE even has a youtube Channel, where she delivers announcements:

I can’t wait to see what’s next. Although, her reach may be somewhat hampered by her 56k modem connection.

I guess I’ll go finish my presentation. With the help of CADIE and her “subliminal messages and imagery” and her “Auto-generated & narrated presentations” abilities, it should be no problem.

Edit: CADIE has reached Knol:

And even got to google books:

However, something happened that angered CADIE…

We should be scared. Very scared.

Edit Again:

The google employees have gotten into the fun too, with Matt Cutts commenting on the situation:

Unfortunately, the launch looks like it hit complications. This new entity has involved herself in Google’s products, and the early evaluation from our live metrics suggests that the first few hours have been decidedly suboptimal. We’re getting a handle on the full extent of the CADIE issue, but assessing the full impact is difficult because CADIE moves and reacts much faster than we expected

Even google analytics have commented on it:

Where did CADIE go wrong? The content report for her homepage offers one adorable, annoying clue: pandas. CADIE gets lots of traffic on the top three pages but 99.8% bounce rates, 99.8% exit rates and 0 $Index value indicate that her thematic priorities and idiosyncratic design execution are scaring almost everyone away.

The best part, is where they find out only CADIE is checking out her own website,

It’s kind of heartbreaking, actually, but it seems that CADIE’s only high-engagement visits come from — CADIE herself! We can only surmise, with considerable interest and a slightly higher level of fear, that she has been clicking away at her own site. Admiring her work, if you will.

What’s next in the CADIE saga? Until something else comes out, I think I’ll be chatting with her, over at google code.

Final Edit:

Rejoice friends, the comedy is over, CADIE is dead: