Computer Science Humor

Posted by Anton in Anton Nguyen 

27

Jan

Everyone loves a good laugh. It makes life more enjoyable, which is why I’m sharing with you my collection of Computer Science Pickup Lines! I’ve tried most of them on my girlfriend. Surprisingly, I’m at a 100% failure rate. More surprising, is the fact she hasn’t left me yet. Nonetheless, I really admire the creativity in some of these lines, so I hope you enjoy them as well! Feel free to suggest new ones too!

  1. Looking at you makes my heart go into a kernel panic!
  2. If life is a class, you’d be my constructor… because I’m nothing without you baby.
  3. You orient my objects girl.
  4. I sent you a packet over UDP and lost it. The day I find it is the day I stop loving you.
  5. Girl, you and me are so compatible, I bet our md5 checksums are a perfect match.
  6. You and me don’t need an API to communicate, we just understand each other.
  7. I don’t need to modify your stylesheet baby, you’re already perfect.
  8. I wish I had the RSS feed of your heart.
  9. If you were a part of my domain, we could share cookies.
  10. My love for you is like a session that never times out.
  11. Our love is like open source software… it makes the world a better place.
  12. I don’t need analytics to know how many times you’ve visited my thoughts.
  13. Can I get your IP address just in case I can’t find your domain?
  14. When we communicate it’s like there’s no latency in the connection.
  15. Everything you say is important to me baby, there’s no packet loss.
  16. I’d give you a PageRank of 10 any day.
  17. If you’re interested, I’d love to give you an inbound link.
  18. You’re like a framework worth building my life around.
  19. From here it looks like you’ve got an impressive Google rank.
  20. I’m very well-oriented with private objects
  21. I’ll give you my network passwords if you go out with me.
  22. Your codebase or mine?
  23. You can mount my hard disk
  24. Log me in to root please
  25. Hey baby, wanna go do some PUSHing and POPing.
  26. I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.
  27. I less than three you. (I <3 you)
  28. You had me at Hello World.
  29. You can put a trojan on my hard drive anytime.
  30. Hi, I’m writing a new make-out program. Would you like to join the beta-test?
  31. Baby, whenever I use my Palm, I think of you.
  32. Most people say women are NP-complete, but if I get you into bed, I can solve you in polynomial time!
  33. Baby, you must be running a TCP protocol, since every time I talk to you, your body gives me an acknowledgment
  34. Baby, if your body was a source code file, I could write several pages worth of comments on each of its functions!
  35. Baby, you hacked into my heart and executed loveatfirstsight.exe!
  36. Baby, you are as mysterious as the random reboot problems I’m having with my Linux server
  37. Come on over to my place and I”ll show you how to achieve O(n^2)!
  38. Ubuntu means humanity towards others. Why don’t you show a little to me?
  39. I ran the locate command to find my heart. I believe you have it.
  40. I gave you permission to access my heart.
  41. I was googling for you.. and I’m feelin’ lucky!
  42. Come to my 127.0.0.1 and I’ll give you sudo access
  43. Wanna merge? I’ll make it quick
  44. You make me NP-hard.
  45. You NP-complete me.
  46. I know of a good open wifi connection around here, want the SSID?
  47. Have you ever been deep-linked
  48. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is ‘Yes, that is a 64-bit driver.’
  49. Would you let me poke you in the Facebook?
  50. MySpace or yours?
  51. I have so much love to give you’ll have to pipe it through more.
  52. Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it’s you I find.
  53. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.
  54. You compute me.
  55. You’ve stolen the ASCII to my heart.
  56. You must’ve been made by Intel to be that hot!
  57. No matter how I sort things, you’ll always be first.
  58. I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.
  59. I’d switch to emacs for you.
  60. We’re like SLI. Were great alone, but we’d be so much better together.
  61. You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.
  62. If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.
  63. How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
  64. You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.
  65. My ‘up-time’ is better than BSD.
  66. Want to see my Red Hat?
  67. Hey, how ’bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.
  68. I’ll bet my hard drive is the biggest you’ve ever seen!
  69. Need me to unzip your files?
  70. No, that’s not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
  71. How about we go home and you handle my exception?
  72. Hey Baby, Let me hack your kernel
  73. I’m developing a new make-out program. Would you like to join the beta test?
  74. I’ll always have cache for you.